We went through the emotional roller coaster that came with the fertility drugs two more times (Brad said they turned me into Dracula… LOL). Each time waiting longer than the time before, before getting a home test and calling the doctor because the hpt was negative… the last time I was 12 weeks late, sick, sore and feeling exactly like my pregnant friend was complaining about feeling. When I got to the dr office the nurse seemed as hopeful as I felt… and I knew by the look on her face what the result was. The doctor called in a perscrpiton for a drug to start my cycle (I don't think I ever used them, all it ever took was a visit to the doctor), and I went home. I was OK until Brad got home, then I fell apart. It felt like someone had reached in and pulled my stomach straight out of my body. I was devastated. I told Brad I couldn't do it anymore. I was done.
We went back to the doctor at my usual annual exam and he said,"If you aren't interested in the next step, then it's not going to happen. Might as well adopt". As unpleasant as that was to hear we were willing to look in to it
Didn't take long for us to discover we can't afford that option either. So we opted to give foster to adopt a try. We went through all the classes to get certified, did all the paperwork, and then sold our house. We moved into a camp trailer in our church parking lot at the time we would have been ready for our home study. LOL.


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