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Showing posts from November, 2022

The Woman in My Mirror

Though this is a copy of an email to the Mom, written a few months ago. The gratitude extends not only to her, but to others (many who read my blog), who have been a source of stability, encouragement and love in my life for decades.  You may not realize how big of an impact you have made in my life, because often I am lousy at receiving love. But those of you who have "always been there" the ones that I can easily take for granted,  the words that were directed to Mom, fit you as well.  Without your unconditional love. Without your encouragement.  Without your prayers. Without your esteeming me higher than I do myself. I could not have come this far: "I catch a glimpse as I'm washing my hands, and I do a double take. Who is that? Me? I wish. She is pretty, happy, confident, healthy, loved, capable, comfortable in her own skin/with who she is... then I realize, it is me! How is that possible? The easy answer is God did it. How? I don't know. One day at a time. I

seeing His sovereignty

November felt like a year all by itself. And the last 10 days, like 6 months. The month was too busy to begin with.  Crammed with work, doctor and dentist appointments for all 5 of us. Mom's surgery taking a full week by itself just because of the distance from home and pre-op and other preparations. But God is so good! He knew what was coming and He knew the perfect circumstances for His plans for what was about to happen.  Mom's surgery was supposed to be the end of September, but she got a cold. The medical staff decided it would be best if the surgery was postponed until November. We were all a little unhappy about that because we were all set for it to happen in September.  But whatever. We've learned to roll with unexpected changes... The kids were able to go to Oregon for a teen conference with their dad's church, and I suggested the kids stay through Sunday and come home Monday, giving them opportunity to visit with their dad, an extra unplanned visit--good for

struggles with the dark

Those who read my blog seem to mostly be my Facebook friends. So you know the craziness my life has been the last couple of weeks. I don't mind the busy, the unexpected and the "inconvenience" of caregiving for My People. It's an honor and my joy comes from seeing them improve and the grace and strength God gives is most humbling and amazing to me. I know without doubt I could not do half of what I do if I wasn't strengthened by God to do what He obviously has for me to do.  But sometimes I get tired. That may be an understatement 🙂 The problem with tired, is I spend a lot of time alone in my car tending to the things that must get done. And I have an enemy who enjoys trampling my spirit.  Though I know much of what plays through my mind when I am so tired is half-truth, exaggerated or taken out of context, the fact that there are bits of truth (no matter how small) makes it so hard for my tired brain to resist or ignore.  When I'm not tired, these thoughts d