"Obey… in the Lord". I knew that verse for as long as I could remember, but that last part was like a totally new concept… I never realized that to be a condition or guide. I always thought it meant obey and that was it. There was never an explanation before about if you need to choose who to obey, God or parents… it was always assumed God gave you these parents, so His will is for you to obey them. Getting the last three words of that verse to penetrate my braine and my heart was shocking, revolutionizing, freeing! I was able to let go, because the choices my mother was making were against God's will.
inner struggles
When you're pretty sure the whole world just tolerates you, and one of the people you see most often says ,"We always love that you come back. You're pretty good company." That's the Facebook status I was going to put up a couple days ago. But I couldn't. It's true, that happened, but I can't quite process it. I hear things all the time, from honest, sincere people who I believe love me and mean what they say, but I am damaged. And even though I have come so very far, sometimes I fear that damage may be permanent. I honestly don't remember compliments from anyone as a child. I remember being the only child in many situations, left to entertain myself while adults had their meetings or fellowship in the next room, often forgetting I was there. I remember being the last one chosen for teams at school. I remember my grandmother saying, "nobody really cares.", I remember talking with classmates in Jr.High, having a third person come al...
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