Baptized today!

Many people were surprised to hear I got baptized today! 

And my church family was filled with joy and pleased as they witnessed the event.

I am sure there were some who had thoughts like:

"What? She's a Sunday School teacher!"

"What?? She was a preacher's wife!"

"She lead an adult women's Sunday school class in Oregon?!!?"

"She knows more Bible than I do!"

"She's been in church forever!"

"I heard her testimony! She always said she was saved and baptized at the age of 12! Why is she doing it again?"

And probably some other questions I can't imagine (maybe even a few "Ha! I knew it!!--though those would be wrong...)

Most of you who read my blog posts, have heard my testimony and know I have always claimed saved at 12, left church completely about 6 months later and started back about 4 and a half years later. But there is more to the story. 

As a Baptist I have been taught "once saved always saved", though I believe that is true, I have lived a life of confusion and some uncertainty because I didn’t improve after my "salvation" at 12. Instead, I quit church, tried alcohol, tested Kmarts ability to catch a theif (they were no good at it), mastered lying, and picked up a whole vile vocabulary that I never let my mother or her friends hear me use. I decided to enjoy music that did anything but honor or glorify God... the list could go on. 

It wasn't until we moved to YV and I started attending CBC, and God convinced me that I needed to be right with Him, that I needed to surrender my life to His desires, that I turned my life on to the path it is and has been on for close to 30 years. 

If it has been so long, why get Baptized now?

Because I was never baptized after I surrendered my life to Christ. And that is a necessary act of obedience.

I have argued with myself about the need to be baptized for a very long time. But I have no doubt about my salvation, it was a question of when it truly happened. Every time I have questioned it in the past, I shrugged it off pointing to the misery I felt during those rebellious years (though I understand some of you may laugh at my level of rebellion,  understand the heart is the same even if opportunity wasn't) as conviction because I knew better. That argument made sense and gave me what I needed to assure my self (and be assured by others) that I was fine. Until last January. 

In January two different pastors preached in back to back services about a person getting "saved", "falling away", and "recommitting" their lives to Christ. The way these two men spoke, they suggested that that person may not have been saved until the time they thought was recommitment, because that was when their life began to reflect Christ and His desires. As I was listening to the second of these two sermons,  I thought,"If what they are saying is true, then I need to be baptized."  I said it with a scoff and chuckle to myself because I really didn’t want to believe that! 

Over the following months, I thought about it and dismissed it, but the thought kept coming back. So I visited my pastor.  A very gracious man (and if you know how we started, you may be shocked by that description, but it is true!), he heard me out, gave me some scripture to consider, he texted me some sermons to listen to, gave me a couple booklets to read and encouraged me to continue to pray and seek the Lord on the issue.  He didn't press me to believe one way or the other, I respect that. Some pastors would try to convince one that they were maybe still unsaved, or assert that the person definitely needs to be baptized,  because they want the credit for something.  But my pastor wanted me to simply be sure I am right with the Lord. That is a blessing. 

So after more prayer, and considering all the information he gave me, I came to the conclusion that my "recommitment" was no such thing, but actually my moment of salvation.  When I look back over my life, I can clearly see a directional change, a change in desire and motivation.  Perfection? No! But a beginning of growth,  a birth of desire to know God and to do and be whoever He may have for me to be.  

I have often said that when I returned to God He never let me go again.  But He doesn't let us go when we are truly His.  We are secure in His hand and no one can pluck us from His hand... scripture says so! 

Once I allowed myself to honestly look back and see what the Lord has shown me several times over the years, I came to the conclusion that I needed to be baptized. 

Sometimes we need to really listen to each other.  We can be so quick to jump to conclusions.  Assuming one is saved because we saw them walk an aisle,  that they are unsaved because their standards aren't as high as ours. Or if they have questions or concerns we can be fast to dismiss those thoughts as attacks from Satan. What if those thoughts are prompting from God? We see actions, but only God knows the heart. 

I so appreciate that my pastor just listened.  He let me talk and tell my story. As I heard myself share, the picture of that part of my past became more clear than ever before. He wasn't trying to solve or fix my problem,  he was coming along side to encourage me as I allowed the Lord to show me the truth. And that is what we are supposed to do for our brothers and sisters in Christ.  It is not our job to solve their problems or fix their troubles, we are to love them and be channels for God to flow through so He can provide exactly what is needed at the perfect moment in time.