His grace is truly AMAZING

I sometimes think I am so easily overwhelmed. By good things. I still feel so unworthy of the generosity of others. I mean really who is worthy? Of anything good? But a sincere thank you and a smile always seems like it is not enough when it comes from me. But God has given His approval for a splurge i was allowing myself to afford even though I was not sure I should really be affording it. Then randomly, unexpectedly I was gofted the EXACT amount rthat i needed to pay for such extravagance... He is so good to me.

Life is hard.  Change is necessary. And painful. I am so thankful for those in my life who are willing to show me what I need to see, even when they might be nervous about pointing out my shortcomings. Those are REAL friends. The ones that see what you need to change in order to be a better person, not for their preference, but for your good (and God's glory!). Most who know me know I am a giver. A giver of myself, my time and energy (I have no money or I'd probably give that, too!!). Those who know me well may think (rightly so) that I give myself away to a fault. Reserving little or no time for myself. If someone needs assistance (or not), or a menial task needs to be done, if I see it, I will jump to do it. As a guest I rarely just let the hostess do everything (unless I have been TOLD!). In fact, sitting and seeing something that needs to be done is one of the hardest things for me to do.  Yesterday I saw a video clip that explained this as a learned response to the adults...

Though this is a copy of an email to the Mom, written a few months ago. The gratitude extends not only to her, but to others (many who read my blog), who have been a source of stability, encouragement and love in my life for decades.  You may not realize how big of an impact you have made in my life, because often I am lousy at receiving love. But those of you who have "always been there" the ones that I can easily take for granted,  the words that were directed to Mom, fit you as well.  Without your unconditional love. Without your encouragement.  Without your prayers. Without your esteeming me higher than I do myself. I could not have come this far: "I catch a glimpse as I'm washing my hands, and I do a double take. Who is that? Me? I wish. She is pretty, happy, confident, healthy, loved, capable, comfortable in her own skin/with who she is... then I realize, it is me! How is that possible? The easy answer is God did it. How? I don't know. One day at a time. I ...