2/14

One year ago today, I walked into the courthouse Lola Elkins and walked out Dottie George. It was sweet that the judge nearly cried when I told him why I decided to change my name.

It complicated a few things, and took a few months to get everything changed, but it wasn't as horrible a hassle as I expected it to be.

I think it's been harder on those who know me, than it was for me to adjust to my new name. But I am so glad I changed it.

I can see and feel the difference in who I am with my new name. I noticed about six months ago, I don't walk looking down at my shoes anymore. (a habit I picked up in Jr. High because of being teased mercilessly).

There is a freedom, like I was able to set down all the baggage and shame from all my years, and walk away.  It's still a part of who I am, I can't deny my roots, but the hold on me is gone. Having a new name/identity has brought with it a new sense of capability. I know life is hard, and I am generally lazy and tend to procrastinate... But as Lola I also felt a whole lot of "why bother, I'm going to fail anyway." As Dottie, that seems to be gone, I still fight laziness and procrastination, but the pointless of even trying is gone. That loser is gone. Can I still lose? Yes. Will I still fail? More than likely. But it doesn't seem like it is my destiny any more.

Perhaps that is why God blessed me with the opportunity to change my name. He knew I needed to see myself as a different person, as the different person I am so that I can better believe that He will bless me with whatever He has for me. Believing He will makes faith to trust and obey possible...

I enjoy being a George. It is amazing to feel apart of a family. To know you are not alone. To know you're welcome, wanted and sometimes even needed.  Taking George, brought with it it's own struggles! We call it the George Factor: anything that should be simple, won't be! 

But God is good!

It has been an amazing year!