The solitary in families

I was listening to the radio a couple of weeks ago, I enjoy a live call in program where people call to ask questions about the Bible or Christian beliefs. The mem on the program do a great job sticking with what scripture says and really do a good job of leaving their opinions out, or being clear about what is opinion and what is scripture. Anyway. I was listening in the car, as i often do, and a woman called in and said she felt like she needs to separate herself from her toxic mothe. The pastors gave her cautious counsel without really explaining what she wanted to understand -- that it is ok to walk away from anyone who is harmful to you, even if it's your mother. They did speak of the importance of forgiveness and said that anyone who is toxic or abusive should be removed from one's life. I desperately wanted to call in, but I was not able to. Hearing this call made me want to shout,"Yes! It is OK!" It is ok. I heard two different pastors on that same radio station, in the same week, say "Yes, blood is thicker than water, but the Spirit is thicker than blood." Well, that's good way to say it, but the first time I heard a message on being born of the Spirit and of water, I realized the slight the way Satan has twisted this truth! You see the birth of water references the womb--the blood relations in our lives... so yes "blood is thicker than water": The blood of Jesus is thicker than the water of the womb!! It's that simple! Our loyalty and faithfulness belongs to the family of Christ. We are commanded to love. But love is not submitting ourselves to various kinds of abuse because "that's my family". No. We can live them from a safe distance, we can be kind, we can set STRONG and FIRM, SOLID boundaries and still be loving and kind. Allowing biological family to repeatedly harm us, and keep us from victory in life through Christ, not only is unkind to ourselves, but it tarnishes the name of Christ because it makes Him look powerless in that area of our life. Distance does not equal hate or unloving or unforgiving. It is sometimes what is needed to demonstrate health, healing and true love for those unloving or unkind family members.