Come so far, but still so far to go.

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Today was the last presentation in ASL 2, I never enjoy presentations. Getting up in front of the whole class and a video camera (even if there are only 8 students in the class!), is horrifying to me.

I am amazed at how this class has stretched me in ways I needed to be stretched (God knows exactly what we need). I have learned to be an introvert over the course of my life. I guess being hurt by those who are "supposed to love you" can do that to a person. Over the last few years I have been trying to refind some of the extrovert I once was (I do think taming her a bit would be good), but it is very hard to reach outside my personal bubble after hiding inside for so long.

As we were preparing for our presentations some of us were comparing notes on the length of what we had to do. Then we were commenting on how nervous we get just because the teacher is watching. And two of the girls agreed that when they get nervous they just look at me because I am always,"cheerful and encouraging". Me??? I just sit there and watch.

It really surprised me that they see/saw that in me. I try to be cheerful and encouraging, but I never noticed myself being that way in the classroom.

I guess as we learn and grow and make efforts to be the kind of person we want to be, over time we start to become who we want to be, even if we don't see it.  

I have been thanked more than once recently for being so cheerful and encouraging, when I really wasn't trying to be, I was just willing to be available.  I am usually surprised when someone comments on my cheerfulness.  I have had chronic fatigue for so long, I just assume all people can see is me tired 🙂

God is so good! I know He is the one shining through. He is the one people see. I just feel blessed to be able to be used by Him in the lives of others.

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