Awakening

You know how you day by day and it seems your kids are always the same, then one day you look at them and notice! How did he get so tall?? When did she become young lady??  Where did that quick wit come from? Why does he suddenly think so deep?

Have you ever had a moment like that about yourself?? Wow! When did that change? When did I stop that? Why did I not respond in my usual manner???

I have had a few over the last several months and I just need to praise the Lord by sharing them with you.

Back in December, I was walking across the quad at the college, heading to the library for tutoring. And I suddenly realized I was walking upright, shoulders back chin up, like a person with confidence, comfortable in her own skin. (I've mentioned before that comfortable in my own skin is a very new thing, anyway).  It shocked me to realize my posture. I walked watching my feet for over 30 years. Was a posture I learned in Junior High, to avoid eye contact with those who bullied and harassed me. To realize I was not only able to walk upright (most are all able), but I was actually doing it, was thrilling!  I went home that evening and shared my awareness with the Mom, and she thought a moment and agreed I was right, and she hadn't really thought about it either.

Then in January, I think, the Mom left a message on a phone that played her message back for approval.  She said it was strange because she thought it sounded like me. LoL. I have been told many times I sound like her on the phone, but dismissed it as people trying to be gracious. Well, yesterday I bought a new phone for the landline. It has an answering machine, that I would prefer over calling voicemail. I like to hear and interrupt messages if I can. 

Anyway, I recorded the message for incoming calls, and was shocked by what I heard! I called the Mom again! I told her,"I understand what you mean by we sound alike!"

I went on to share with her the memory of the last time I recorded the message for the phone in Oregon. I was so frustrated. No matter how hard I tried to smile and act perky, the recording sounded tired and whiny. But today when I recorded the message I had to do it 3 times, because I am a dork and laughed at myself the first two times.

I don't recognize the voice on the machine as mine, it sounds like Mom George. Friendly and confident, a pleasant tone.

My posture has changed. My voice has changed. Sometimes I feel like a completely different person from three or four years ago, now I realize I probably appear to be a completely different person, too.

These changes are not conscious changes, they just happened. Well, God has brought them to be without me knowing He was doing anything.

It is almost as much fun seeing myself growing up, as it is to watch my kids mature into young people.

I wonder what I will notice next... Besides the gray hair!!! 