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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Three gone in a week

Yeah. Three friends gone in less than seven days… the first two were sad. I'll miss them. Sweet men of our church. Kind. Caring. Always a smile and a kind word….

The third, took my breath away. She was MY friend. I don't know what knit our hearts together so. She invested time and enjoyed my company. She was open and loved to share her past. She loved to laugh. We were the same height, wore the same shoe size and had the same middle name. Old enough to be my grandma, but loving enough to be my friend.

She was one of several ladies who befriended me and she was the last one to leave…. I guess I'll be OK without the anchor of her presence, or she wouldn't have been called home.

It's just weird.

Ever lose someone or something and feel all alone? Like nobody can begin to understand the loss? It's not simply "farewell my friend", a part of my past is gone, the chapter is fully written. There is no more with "my widow" ladies. The laughter has faded, the learning is done… the love will live on in my heart.

I will miss MY Mrs. A. often and much. I hope I have learned something of her character that I can pass on to those who never knew her…

Friday, April 27, 2012

"My" People

I collect "old people". I love them. A great source for love, wisdom… examples of Christ's love. But they leave. Heaven is full of my friends. And more are preparing to to go…my selfish self really doesn't like that reality.

I love "my old people", and I am always excited for them to go, because they are perfect and whole, better than ever before. But I am selfish. I want them here where I can see them and touch them and talk to them… hear their voice once more…

Really worse than having them gone, is watching them prepare to go. The deterioration of the strong and healthy to weak and feeble absolutely breaks my heart. To see the grace with which so many endure is a true blessing and encouragement. But to see what must be endured, of we remain on this Earth for 80 or 90 or 100 years, is discouraging.

I can't tell how many times I've heard,"Don't get old..." believe me, I want to take that advice more than any other advice anyone has ever given…

It just hits every now and again…

The reality of time. It's unstoppable. Irreversible.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Wow moment

I am committed! The ladies prayer group thing has been announced and my name is attached… I cannot back out now, unless God takes me out… and somehow, I don't think that is going to happen.

As we were singing songs in the beginning of the service this morning, we were singing about the Lord's return and there was a line in one of the songs about seeing my friend. I know it was referring to Jesus, but for whatever reason it brought Mrs. K to mind. Then my sweet little easily distracted mind wandered off into her and how amazed she would be by this new ministry I have put together. Not only that I put something together and am about to make it happen, but that it's PRAYER centered. ME leading a prayer group?!?? She would be rejoicing in the Lord so much because she knows how difficult it was for her to get me to pray "dear Lord, thank you for this day. Amen."

She promised me it was important to learn to pray… if we only knew. And I know why I didn't know lol.

Isn't God amazing.

Part of me wishes she could be here. But all of me knows she is not supposed to be. And a piece of me believes she is here, in my heart, in who I am… I wouldn't be here about to do this of she wasn't who she was in my life and hadn't done what she did.