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Sunday, February 26, 2017

"We love you like a daughter"

"We love you like a daughter"

Today, they said it twice. And they said it to me a week ago, too.  It overwhelms me.  And the amazing part? I know they aren't the only couple to feel that way!

I don't understand it. I completely appreciate it.

I know what it is to be unloved. To feel disposable.  To be convinced that the world would be a better place if I would just kill myself (not to never have been born, but if I would just die--yes I had people convince me of this).

I know I am loved. I know unconditional love, from many. When I pause to think about it, and start to name names, I can't comprehend it. Why me? Why am I worthy or deserving of such love, from so many? Yeah, I'm needy, and insecure, but aren't others just as needy, or more so?  Why do I get to steal all these hearts? What makes me so special?

These people don't have to participate in my life at all. Yet they spend hours on the phone, or with me in their homes, the send, spend and give me money that they have no reason to use for my aid. They send birthday and Christmas gifts to me and my children... Because of these people, my children have more life savings than I do!

God is so good to me. And the more I dwell on His goodness to me, the less worthy I feel.

Every one of these people have their own children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, why do I get to be added to their numbers?

I am blessed beyond measure. My family in Christ is my family.  I don't know how He knits hearts together, and I don't know why He chooses the people He brings together, but I am so very thankful! Because without the love and care of those He has put in my life, I would not be who I am. And more than that, I wouldn't understand Who He is as well as I do. True adoption. Unconditional love. Grace. Mercy. Trust. I wouldn't understand any of it.

Thank you for loving me.