Call me Dottie...

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Yesterday God got my attention. What a great, humbling experience.

At church we are working thru a Bible Study by Beth Moore… on the Psalms of Ascent. It's been wonderful…

Before I go farther, what I am going to share is from my heart, truth of my FEELINGS… my PERCEPTIONS… please, don't get your feelings hurt, or take offense… if there's any misunderstanding, it's probably mostly me. If I say something that leads you to believe I am/was wrong, please don't argue with me, pray for the Lord to open my eyes… what I am about to share is from reality as I lived it, what is true as I experienced it… OK? OK. :)

Also I need to share one other insight. "Dottie" is a nickname given to me by the couple I adopted as "Mom and Dad" a few years ago. "Dottie" short for daughter, because they call me the "daughter of their heart"…

As I was saying…

I was doing yesterday's lesson...

Mrs. Moore shared a story about the Forward her husband written about his parents for one of her books. She ended the story with "…they called the next day to say they loved the forward… and they loved me."

My first thought…"Maybe, one day, I can believe, I am loved?"

Then I read "Full redemption is what I described… loved me so lavishly without fully understanding me" and two names came to mind, instantly!

I had to stop and fall on my face and thank the Lord for these people and for His loving me thru them… and confess that simply believing they only love me because He loves me thru them is sin. I say to myself, I trust no one but God. nobody could love me, but God and if anybody does say they love me, it's really only God loving me thru them… though there is truth in that rational, I'm still in essence calling them a liar, not believing them and worse than that I am deceiving myself, and not trusting God because, I am not truly accepting the love He has given… oh, Lord, forgive my unbelief!

Then, as I read,"Full redemption happens when God buys up or back everything that has happened to us and every sin we've committed." a thought flashed thru my mind, I wonder what "Dotty" means?…(the "daughter of my heart" also passed through with that question)… and "Lola" what's that mean? I've always believed names mean things… silly superstition? Maybe, but in Bible teaching/preaching we are often told what names mean in order to define the person…

Anyway. I finished the lesson and whipped out my "handy-dandy" iPod and searched the meanings of the two names…. The first was "Dottie". I cried, humbled by God's amazingness. It means "Gift of God". Me? A Gift?? To anybody?? Whoa! I was completely overwhelmed. I still can't quite get my brain around that,,,

Then I searched "Lola"… it made sense. It means "sorrows". I haven't ever really liked my name. I can remember as a child thinking it sounded somehow blah or sad…

With all this fluttering around in my mind, I had another thought… how beautiful it was to me…"God took 'Sorrows' and gave her as 'a gift' to those who could/would love her!"

back on my face in praise and thanksgiving!! And the request to remember, believe, I am lovable, I am loved… and I need to believe and trust those who say they love me…

So, yeah... call me "Dottie", if you love me, to remind me I was given to you, to love and be loved :)

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